Lifes an Hourglass

I want a baby. I want a baby real bad.

I keep telling Trent that and we've actually been trying to get pregnant since February. { I know 4 whole months is not long AT ALL but when you desperately want a baby it feels like a long time. My ♥ goes out to all the mothers who have been trying to have a baby for years }

I had a miscarriage this past month and its made me realize how grateful I am for the baby boy that I do have. I have been treasuring every single moment I spend with him.
I have been doing little things with him to make him feel special. He is a busy boy so we've been staying extra busy doing the little things that he loves.
We make breakfast together.
We stack his blocks up really high so he can knock them down.
We go for walks {sometimes 2 or 3 a day if he wants}
We play with our close friends.
We run in the sprinkles.
He helps me hold the hose when we water our grass.
We read books {I try to read while he quickly turns the pages}
We make yummy treats.
We watch cartoons together.
We go see the animals at Superstition Farm.
We write with chalk in the backyard.
We color together.
We play at the park.
I feel like he has grown into a little man in the blink of an eye.
I love watching him explore and find things that he loves.

Everyone tells me how much energy he has {or how stubborn he is, or how he already knows what he wants and hes not even two, or how crazy he is}
I just tell him to keep being his adventurous, brave, and crazy little self because I wouldn't trade him for the world.

I know that he is not always going to want to sit on my lap while I read him books. He is not always going to grab my hand and take me to the door when he wants to go outside. He is not always going to want to help me unload all the silverware from the dishwasher. He's not always going to want to sit on the counter and help me stir the brownie mix. So I treasure these little moments I have with him.
"When you reach for the stars, don't forget who you are. And please don't turn around and grow up way too fast. See the sand in my grasp, from the first to the last. Every grain becomes a memory from the past. Oh, Life's an Hourglass."-{that Mrs. Gledhill is a smart lady}


L&S said...

oh char...I am so sorry! I feel like a terrible friend for not knowing and doing something for you! I love you and Nash! You are such a good example to me and any other mothers! Nash knows he has the greatest mommy ever!!!

Connie said...

This is a beautiful post Charde! I'm so sorry about your miscarriage- that must be so hard. I totally feel for other girls who have problems getting pregnant- Tony's sister took YEARS and she's now holding her one month old. (: It did take me 4-5 months to get pregnant with Hyrum, and yes that felt like an eternity. Why is what we want so hard to get sometimes!? I always have to remind myself the Lord knows what we need WHEN we need it. And I definitely NEEDED this reminder post that truly Brody won't "want" to do certain things for/with me that he does right now. I of course appreciate and love my time with him but this gave me even MORE drive to focus on these precious times that are so fleeting. Thanks(:

Julie said...

This post is gonna make me tear up! I love it. My heart goes out to you about the miscarriage, Char. I am so sorry. You are the best momma! Love you!

Brittany said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage, Char :( Love you!

Cliff&KarissaWilliams said...

Char I am so sorry, miscarriages are so hard cause from the moment you find out you start planning and day dreaming of the little one then to find out its not going to happen is devastating. It took me 4 and a half years and 3 miscarriages later to have our second baby. To have her and the rest I had to do progesterone suppositories(my progerterone levels were too low) so my dr, thinks that the reaseon for all the miscarriages. But good luck it will happen when its suppose to. Just keep on enjoing your little man. love ya cousin.

Megan said...

Your so amazing. Seriously! I am so glad that we get to share life together. You and Trent are so great to me and I value our friendship so much. Nash is one lucky kid and I just want to squeeze him. Love your guts

Megan and Boss

Summers Camp said...

I've been thinking about you! While a loss is hard, no matter what, I can look back and be grateful... I appreciate the children I do have because I realize how precious life is. They really are little miracles! It's also helped me empathize with others who struggle similarly. And I know how hard it is to want a baby when you can't have one. Better luck to the both of us! And I'm here for you, if/when you need me :) Take care of yourself, and know that you are loved. And keep on loving that boy up! You need him as much as he needs you. *B

Lana said...

Sweet Charde', it's a club no one plans on being in but please know that you are in good company with lots of loving mothers just like you that can help ease the disappointment, sadness & frustration you may be feeling. I love you. Sending lots of HUGS!

jack+alli said...

i'm so sorry for your loss :( i can't imagine what that must feel like. eli took about 4 years of trying to get him here. it's so hard, but so worth it. it has has been such a sweet adventure having him finally here.
i love reading what you and your sweet nash do together, you're such a good mama!